PhayVour - Letter to Social Media

 To My love-lorn applications
It wasn't supposed to turn out like this
No doubt, you keep me entertained and educated but I need a break
I wake up and I am replying all my DMs on WhatsApp cos they said I should
I say its just going to be a few minutes but I am still here looking at people’s statuses
1 hour later, I get notified @xyz recently posted on their stories on Instagram and for the next 1 hour, I’m taking screenshots of clothes I won’t sew, hearting people’s posts and commenting on @taooma’s skits

I’m still here and @aprokodoctor just tweeted something and I’m on Twitter streets going through all the tweets and either laughing or going through a thread that’s trending, all the while telling myself there are job opportunities on Twitter
Speaking of job opportunities, I am checking Telegram and LinkedIn like…. Any show?
Oh snap! I forgot Facebook, I am supposed to create and check on my fan base. I’m on that, a message pops up, my departmental group chat comes in and I am back on WhatsApp where I also have an audience and I am checking how many views and reactions I have got on a post I made.

I get text message from MTN, 500mb left….. what?!?!
Suddenly I’m hungry, I remember I haven’t eaten and my battery is low, but at that moment, I see a post “WE ARE HIRING”
I’m on 20% battery with an almost exhausted data and my head starts calculating…. Get their info, stay focused and send your CV immediately, but that’s a lie that I tell myself
Its 2PM and I haven’t left my bed. This is not my purpose in life nau.

Battery is dead.
I remember I have an online meeting; I am supposed to register for an online course. Suddenly all the important things I should have done starts coming to mind.

This our relationship is not working as it should, it’s not you, it’s me
I need to work on myself, but for now
I would like to take time to thank you for all the times you came through for me
Knowing the latest happenings, and keeping in touch with people far and wide.
You’ve been really amazing and I am sure we’ll meet again in a better condition where there is surplus data and steady electricity and lots of money coming from my stay with you.
Then it will be for better for worse till data do us part.


Yours' Truly,
PhayVour

Written by PhayVour